Tuesday, June 14, 2016

India, a country of contradictions

My former teacher, Mr. Van den Broek, requested me whether I could write an article for his website on how I ended up in India. That is a very easy and short story. Once upon a time I came across this course called Trade Management aimed at Asia, which is a BBA course combined with Asian language and culture, at the Rotterdam Business School. That really appealed to me. Part of this course is going to Asia for one year for a student exchange and internship. So the real question here is not, how did I end up in India, as all of his students at one point go to Asia. The real question is: why did I stay?


Before coming to India, the question I heard most often was: why India? You, of course,  have the Indian growing economy, the rising middle-class, the neglecting of seeing the opportunities in India as most people doing business in Asia focus on China, the highly educated youth, the technological developments etc.. My decision was not based on facts like these, but on a gut feeling that I had to opt for India. Every day I am still happy I did not listen to the people telling me to go to China and listened to my gut feeling.

Now that I have decided to stay in India, the questions I hear more often are: do you have a boyfriend in Delhi (no) and did a Dutch company send you to Delhi (no). The idea that I am in Delhi because I choose to be in Delhi is difficult to comprehend for many Dutch as well as Indian people. I have fallen in love with this crazy, beautiful, hectic city and I can’t imagine another place where I want to live, at least not for the coming few years. 


My school did its best to try to prepare us for Asia. During two days of self-reflection in the middle of nowhere they taught us all about the curve you go through when you move abroad. You start with the honeymoon phase, where everything in the new country is amazing. The creators of this theory have obviously not been to India. India is right in your face. It is impossible to have a honeymoon phase in India. The first few days you see the beggars, the poverty, the crowds and you just think by yourself: how am I ever going to feel at home here. I was lucky that I had a relatively easy start in India, as I arrived in Mumbai. Mumbai is, compared to Delhi, a less aggressive city.  Especially when you are staying with a friend, who still lives at home. Her mom was very sweet and protective, resulting in me rarely stepping outside alone. So my real introduction of having to deal with India came after two weeks, when I travelled alone through Kerala, Karnataka and Tamil Nadu for three weeks. 


My first introduction to travelling alone was a mixed one. When I think back about my first solo trip, I usually at first only think about the positive things. The Dutch heritage at Kochi, boating in the backwaters of Kerala, trying to swim in the ferocious waves in Gokarna, biking around in the breathtaking landscape of Hampi, doing absolutely nothing in Bangalore, exploring the mix between India and France in Pondicherry, merging with pilgrims in Rameshwaram, enjoying the nature in Kodaikanal and seeing three oceans merge in Kanyakumari. When I dig deeper into my memory I remember the negative things. The sometimes innocent, sometimes not so innocent eve-teasing, difficulties with finding the right tickets and accommodation, vicious food poisoning while being in a sleepers bus, people trying to scam you and being an attraction for Indian tourists. While complaining about the negative sides of travelling to friends they all told me the same: wait till you get to Delhi. South India is nothing compared to Delhi.

Luckily, they were wrong. I arrived in Delhi on the 1st of July in 2014. I came to Delhi with the intention of only studying there and trying to find an internship in Mumbai. Within one month I changed my mind and decided that I wanted to do my internship in Delhi as well. Within a few months, I decided that being in India for one year was too short and I would try to write my thesis there as well. 

 After arrival in Delhi, I had a few weeks till my school started. One of my teachers in the Netherlands had put me in touch with a friend of hers in Delhi and he asked whether I could help out at his company for a few days. His company, Siddhartha Das Studio, is a design studio aimed at the cultural field. They work on projects like museums, art installations, heritage spaces. I went to helping out for a few days, to working part-time during my student exchange, to doing my internship there, to writing my thesis for his company, to working there fulltime. 


 I am balancing in between of two worlds. I will never fit in within the Indian culture, but I also don't feel comfortable with some aspects of the Dutch culture anymore. I truly understood how much India had affected me when I went back to the Netherlands for three weeks after having been away for almost a year. I felt like a stranger in my own country. The Netherlands seemed like such a cold, empty and colorless place. I was missing the hectic, colors and smells of Delhi. I often tell Indians who don't understand why I choose to live in Delhi: "this city has more residents than my country, which means that there is always so much to do, to see, to explore."


 During my two years in India, I have experienced so much. It has been a very intense time. I studied, I travelled a lot, I worked. It feels that the longer I am in India and the more I see of it, the farther away I get from understanding this society and the more peace I have with that fact. I am convinced that every closed question about India can be answered with both a yes and a no, depending on where and with who you are. India is a country of contradictions. From the world's most expensive residential home to the largest slum, from Hindu to Muslim, from traditional tribes to trendy yuppies, from tinder to arranged marriage, from history in every little part in South Delhi to Gurgaon with its skyscrapers. India is a mystery I will be never able to understand, but of which I am very eager to learn more. 


About the author: Anouk van de Kar is a BBA graduate from Trade Management Asia, Rotterdam Business School


This article appeared earlier in e-magazine Business Trends Asia